Charos and the Contessa

He had visited her before all dressed in black and holding a scythe but she had just laughed at his face. 'Seriously?' she asked, 'is that the best you can do?'

He did not know what to say. Usually the people he would visit would cower before him and plead for their life, but not her. She was different. Haughty. Arrogant. He mentally went through his training manual to make sure he hadn't forgotten a crucial point. No, he had done everything properly. So why wouldn't she comply and die?

'It's not me, it's you,' she said scornfully further undermining his self confidence. 'You are so ... demode!'

'Ex..cuse me?' he stuttered.

'Your outfit. It is too old fashioned. What are you, like Middle Ages?'

He stared at his clothes that had been passed down from generation to generation and still looked pristine. 'This is the uniform. We've all got to wear it. It's the regulations,' he explained.

'Pfft! And the scythe? What good is a scythe nowadays? In such an urban environment? What do you think people would say if they saw me walking down the street in your company?'

He shrugged, not daring to look at her in the eye.

'They'd think you were a lunatic. A man wearing a cape that hides his face and is holding a scythe... does that sound normal to you? All those CCTVs out there they'd sound the alarm and the men in white coats would come and get you. No. I am sorry; I can't come with you.'

With these words she turned her back to him and went back to her reading. Charos stood for a few awkward moments, then sighed and went away. He'd get a lot of grief for this from his superiors but as far as he was concerned, they could do the job if they thought it was so easy.

As expected, his colleagues laughed at him and his boss placed him on suspension pending an investigation. Then when another agent failed to claim La Contessa's life the second time they tried, he was reinstated. 'We'll give her a few more years then go get her, mate, don't worry,' his boss had said.

So now it was a few years later. And he was sent to fetch her. She had no idea he was coming for her. She was out shopping and generally enjoying herself. This time he wore a different outfit under his robes. But again the Contessa laughed at him. 'How is dressing like a rapper going to make me to take you seriously?' she said wiping tears from her eyes, her big belly shaking uncontrollably with laughter.

He pulled his golden dollar sign off and threw it on the ground, mumbling obscenities like an angry cartoon character.

'Listen, lady,' he began, but Contessa raised a warning finger at him. He gulped.

'My Lady,' she corrected him.

'My Lady, my ass!' he swore. 'Everyone's equal in death.'

'I am not everyone,' she countered calmly. 'I will go with you when I am good and ready for it. Not a moment before. And you shall present yourself to me dressed elegantly. I want to go in style. Is that understood?'

He nodded, defeated yet once more. But he would get his way eventually. The Charos crew always did.

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Sorry for my absence but I had an unscheduled appointment with Charos... He's a very persistent lad, I got to give him that.  Many thanks to my friends and acquaintances for their prayers.