RACK and other crap

I had a sleepless night. Many things have come to my attention, lots of emails exchanged with various people, lots of threads read. The realisation that people are getting more and more hardcore is shocking. The Internet is suddenly full of clips of women being debased and abused, not only by porn sites (which of course you would expect to keep up with the times in order to make a profit) but people who practice BDSM at home. I have serious doubts about the emotional and psychological stability of the people involved. But then I have been a victim before, so of course I pass everything through my own filter and some things disturb me more than others.

There was a thread on IC about an elderly couple (she 68, he 75) who ran a professional dungeon (though probably unregistered) from their suburban home. Their client died whilst in suspension bondage. The Dominatrix was unable to get him down, even with the help of her husband. You can read more details here:  http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3172491/-Tragedy-at-OAP-SM-dungeon.html

What can you say about such tragedies? Of course the blame lies with the Dominatrix. She underestimated the danger and overestimated her powers.

Which reminds me of a session I organised for one of my lifestyle subs some years ago. It was with a fairly well-known professional Domina at her dungeon near the M25. I chose her because of her ethos and experience. The session started off well. My sub was excited. The Domina had a fully equipped dungeon and understood that subbie was inexperienced and promised to take it at his pace. Then at some point she strapped him over a kneeling stool. His knees were on a padded surface, his belly on another (higher) padded surface. His wrist and ankles were in restraints. There may have been a belt around his waist too, but it's been so many years that I cannot recall every single detail.

I sat at a safe distance whilst she flogged and paddled him. Then I noticed his face had gone red and beads of sweat had gathered. 'Are you alright?' I asked, slightly concerned as the level of his head was lower than the level of his heart because of the position and the fact he had a bit of a belly. 'Yes, I am fine, Mistress,' he replied.

The Domina continued to whip him using a variety of implements. Either she was having too much fun or she was deep in her thoughts because she failed to notice that the sub changed from lobster red to straw yellow. I jumped up in alert and halted the session. She immediately released him and made him sit down on a chair. He kept apologising and we told him there was nothing to feel ashamed about but he should have called his safeword. 'I was ashamed to use the safeword,' he panted, 'didn't want to disappoint you.'

The Domina fetched him a glass of water and little by little he regained his colouring. We decided that it was best to avoid positions that would put him in strain and instead opted for the examination table with a nice pillow to support his neck. Then we did some sensory play and he enjoyed it much more than the pain he had savoured earlier. You see many men (and women) will dream of losing control and experiencing pain, but once it starts, they realise pain is hard to handle.

An hour later we were at a Harvester having lunch and talking about the events of the morning. He had a small glass of red wine along with his meal. Then the desert came - a lovely platter of strawberries, marshmallows and chocolate brownie with vanilla ice cream. I studied the platter trying to choose what to taste first whilst expecting an answer from him to a question I had asked. He did not reply, so I raised my eyes and looked at him. The sight I beheld freaked me out. He had gone ashen yellow again, his face had dropped, his eyes had a vacant stare, and a bit of saliva had just began escaping the edge of his lip.

I called his name in panic, asking him if he was alright. The serving staff turned to look and realised there was something wrong. But the sub suddenly regained his consciousness and asked what the fuss was all about. When I told him, he waved my fears off saying he was drooling over dessert and he had been momentarily absent-minded. The staff kept asking me if they should call the paramedics and I was in turmoil. I offered to drive his car back, but he refused. He was a very proud man. I agreed to let him drive on the condition he would drive slowly and the moment he felt bad, he'd pull over and have a rest. It was a very long drive back...

So what was the lesson learnt from that episode? That you can never-ever expect a sub to take responsibility for his/her well being. They have handed that responsibility over to you when they agreed to a play or pay session. If a Dominant decides to play God with another human being's life, then they should make damn sure they are prepared and able to take on that role.

Imagine the horror of someone dying on you and multiply it by 10, if that happened under unusual circumstances, to get the dread I experienced when he had the mini stroke. What do you tell the family? We practised Risk Aware Consensual Kink so he knew what he was letting himself in for?

But more on the subject of RACK later. I feel quite drained now. The icy conditions outside mean I have to brave the weather and the crowds to ensure we do not get snowed in without adequate provisions.

I hope you are prepared!